WHAT THA F***!!

I never thought I’d see the day that Brian McKnight would literally be crooning about showing a chick what her chocha was capable of. Of course Brian’s made songs about love and making love his whole career but the video he dropped (and then deleted) tonight took his clap session tunes to a whole ‘nother level I don’t any of us thought he was capable of putting out to the public.

The seasoned singer/songwriter got in front of the cameras and decided to preview a song titled “If You’re Ready To Learn” (sounds like an anthem for pedophiles) from his upcoming “adult mixtape.” The X-Rated song contains lyrics such as “Let me show you how your p**sy works, since you didn’t bring it to me first…..bet you didn’t know that it could squirt.” *Dead* at him singing this over one of his typical slow jam-style productions. So much for homies clean cut image. Watch the clip for more soulfully vocalized sex ed. lessons courtesy of Prof. McKnight. The mixtape will probably drop in Neverary via GMG (Gynecology Music Group).

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Tide laundry detergent is meant to be used for household cleaning purposes, but thieves are turning it into something dirty. Authorities are reporting a spike in thefts of Tide, and in some cities they are setting up task forces where the detergent is sold to track the number of bottles in stores. Police believe thieves are using the soap on the black market, which retails for $10-$20, to buy drugs. On the black market, Tide is often referred to as “liquid gold” and can go for $5-$10 per bottle.

Last year, in St. Paul, Minnesota, a man is alleged to have stolen $25,000 worth of Tide over 15 months before authorities captured him. Stores such as CVS have amped up security measures to prevent theft; at some locations the detergent is kept in a locked container and an employee must retrieve it for customers.

So why is Tide the only detergent being targeted? Authorities list several reasons: Tide is instantly recognizable because of its Day-Glo orange bottle; it is one of the most expensive brands of laundry detergent; and it does not have serial numbers, so it cannot be tracked.

On social media, people are calling the theft trend “bizarre” and many are blaming it on the tough economy and rising gas prices. One person tweeted that the thefts are “a result of inflation.”

A spokesperson for Procter & Gamble, the manufacturer of Tide, called the thefts “unfortunate.”

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SMDH, Really why does this ALWAYS happen at a Kid Cudi concert. Punches, kisses,fights,fans getting tackled; just another day for Cud huh? But on a side note, respect the NIKE Air Mags?

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WHEN Clare Ormiston’s relatives asked her what she wanted for her forthcoming 100th birthday, they weren’t prepared for her cheeky reply.

The centenarian-to-be wasn’t content with just a card from the Queen and some nice classical music – she wanted a male stripper instead.

Clare’s daughter Marguerite recalled: “We asked mum in June what she wanted for her party. And she came up with a couple of suggestions.

“The first one was actually ‘a seat on the moon’. Seeing as that was pretty impossible I said, ‘What about something else?’ and she said ‘a stripper’.

“I couldn’t believe it. She’s got a wicked sense of humour – I nearly fell off my chair.”

Former secretary Clare’s saucy wish came true when a male stripper called Scorpion paid her a visit on her 100th birthday last Friday.

Granny got some horny swag huh?

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This isn’t a joke ladies and gents. A french woman sued her husband of 21 years for not having enough sex with her during their marriage and won.

The couple, who raised two children in the French Riviera, were granted divorce in Nice, southern France, two years ago, with the wife blaming her husband’s low libido for the split.

The divorce court ruled the husband, known only as Jean-Louis B, was “solely responsible” for the break up.

London’s Telegraph reported the 47-year-old women recently took the matter back to court to seek 10,000 euros in damages for the inactive sex life.

In total she won about $17,000 Dollars US. CRAZY! – The Life Files

Dealer: TFL

Including six people shot in Brooklyn Monday morning, New York City’s weekend has seen a bloody holiday weekend, with total of 31 shot in 48 hours.

The first 24 people were shot between 6 a.m. Saturday and 6 a.m. Sunday, in 14 separate incidents in Brooklyn, Queens and the Bronx, reports the Daily News. A 30-year-old was fatally shot in Flatbush at 2 a.m. Sunday.

At a backyard party in the Bronx early Sunday, a lone gunman shot eight people including an 11-year-old boy and two girls ages 13 and 14.

According to the police, witnesses claimed the gunman was Oneil Dasilva, 17, who has an extensive record including an arrest in 2011 on a charge of attempted murder in the Bronx, reports The New York Times. (more…)

Signs your trial is not going well: When the judge says to you, “I don’t know how you were raised, but peeing in a trash can in a state district courtroom is inappropriate behavior.”

That quote, which surely will go down in judicial history alongside “with all deliberate speed,” was uttered by District Judge Kerry Russell in a Tyler courtroom yesterday to 17-year-old Corey Webb, who just had to go, you know?

Webb was on trial for shooting at a peace officer during an escape attempt from a juvenile facility. He’d already shown a somewhat casual attitude to the judicial process, being reprimanded for mumbling loudly during attorneys’ arguments and asking the judge if he could fire his lawyer.

And then, according to KYTX: After her testimony, the court broke for lunch. Right as the jury was ushered out Webb unbuckled his pants, walked over to a trash can and urinated in court. The judge had this to say to Webb: “I don’t know how you were raised, but peeing in a trash can in a state district courtroom is inappropriate behavior. This is the second conversation we’ve had. There won’t be a third.” - KYTX

Just watch the video. That’s all. Normally Fosty’s evil twin sits waiting for unsuspecting curious people to approach him, when they least expect it, Freaky jumps out and scares the life out of them. But Not this time.

This new app named Cloo’ (Community Loo) allows people to look up residential bathrooms on their phones that people are willing to rent complete strangers to use. Don’t know how well this idea will go over, I mean you reall must have to take a leak bad to go to a completely strangers crib for that reason and that reason only right? I’d be a bit weary of the characters who use this app. The may be using the loo for more than peeing. Watch the clip for an explanation of the app with added salsa music lol.

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A shooting that left one Brooklyn man dead and another wounded stemmed from a misunderstanding over a grill that was borrowed and returned dirty, sources said.

Michael Daley, 33, was mortally wounded, and his landlord was also shot during an argument with three men outside Daley’s Canarsie home, police said.

“They are known to each other. It’s an ongoing beef and it’s back and forth,” said a police source. “The dispute may have erupted over borrowed items.”

Daley’s family says he was wrongly blamed for returning a barbecue to a neighbor without cleaning it – when someone else actually borrowed the grill for a party at his house.

“This had nothing to do with Michael,” said one relative. “Michael did not borrow the grill. They blame him because it was at his house.”

Daley was fixing a car radio in his E.78th St. driveway around 3:30 p.m. Wednesday when three men walked up and started arguing, police said.

One of the men fatally shot Daley in the chest.

Daley’s 39-year-old landlord, who had just finished fixing a leak in the basement, was shot in the arm, shoulder and in the groin. He survived and he was listed in stable condition at Brookdale University Hospital.

No arrests have been made,

Relatives said Daley, a father of two, worked seven days a week at two jobs, including one with autistic children. They said he was hoping to move out of the neighborhood.- Daily News

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