WHAT THA F***!!

WHEN Clare Ormiston’s relatives asked her what she wanted for her forthcoming 100th birthday, they weren’t prepared for her cheeky reply.

The centenarian-to-be wasn’t content with just a card from the Queen and some nice classical music – she wanted a male stripper instead.

Clare’s daughter Marguerite recalled: “We asked mum in June what she wanted for her party. And she came up with a couple of suggestions.

“The first one was actually ‘a seat on the moon’. Seeing as that was pretty impossible I said, ‘What about something else?’ and she said ‘a stripper’.

“I couldn’t believe it. She’s got a wicked sense of humour – I nearly fell off my chair.”

Former secretary Clare’s saucy wish came true when a male stripper called Scorpion paid her a visit on her 100th birthday last Friday.

Granny got some horny swag huh?

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A shooting that left one Brooklyn man dead and another wounded stemmed from a misunderstanding over a grill that was borrowed and returned dirty, sources said.

Michael Daley, 33, was mortally wounded, and his landlord was also shot during an argument with three men outside Daley’s Canarsie home, police said.

“They are known to each other. It’s an ongoing beef and it’s back and forth,” said a police source. “The dispute may have erupted over borrowed items.”

Daley’s family says he was wrongly blamed for returning a barbecue to a neighbor without cleaning it – when someone else actually borrowed the grill for a party at his house.

“This had nothing to do with Michael,” said one relative. “Michael did not borrow the grill. They blame him because it was at his house.”

Daley was fixing a car radio in his E.78th St. driveway around 3:30 p.m. Wednesday when three men walked up and started arguing, police said.

One of the men fatally shot Daley in the chest.

Daley’s 39-year-old landlord, who had just finished fixing a leak in the basement, was shot in the arm, shoulder and in the groin. He survived and he was listed in stable condition at Brookdale University Hospital.

No arrests have been made,

Relatives said Daley, a father of two, worked seven days a week at two jobs, including one with autistic children. They said he was hoping to move out of the neighborhood.- Daily News

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A former on-screen villain could spend the rest of his life in jail after being found guilty of a horrific real-life crime.

Joseph Hyungmin Son, 40, who played Dr. Evil’s sidekick “Random Task” in the first “Austin Powers” movie, was convicted of torture last week in connection with the 1990 abduction and gang rape of a 20-year-old California woman.

The Orange County woman was walking her dog on Christmas Eve and looking at holiday lights in the neighborhood when she was snatched off the street and attacked, KTLA reported.

Son was accused along with one other suspect of holding the victim at gun point and raping her numerous times as well as sexually assaulting her with the weapon.

The victim’s lawyer claimed the assailants then released the woman naked with her pants tied around her eyes.

Son wasn’t arrested in connection with the crime until 18 years after the incident.

In 2008, after violating probation on vandalism charge, he was charged with numerous counts of assault when his DNA was found to match a sample from the victim.

Many of those charges were ultimately dropped due to the amount of time that had elapsed since the alleged incident, KTLA reported.

Son is slated to be sentenced on September 19, and faces 15 years to life in prison.
- Daily News

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Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies have released a video of a barking Chihuahua chasing off robbers at the Ace Smoke Shop in Altadena.

Damn son, Really? The Taco Bell dog got you shook?

Posted By : @Inspheck

Jonathan does it again with “Blacks on Blacks”…a parody of the Young Chris smash hit “Racks on Racks.” You can catch Jonathan on the Nationally Syndicated Russ Parr Morning Show. Go download Jonathan’s parodies for free at http://www.reverbnation.com/jonathanrpms.

Posted By : @InspHECK_MTD

Woman in a Brooklyn nightclub tried to pull up her dress, and pulled some padding out of her bra and tried to flee from the camera.

I may need this. Viral marketing for MTD maybe ? Well check the video to watch the actually hacking taking place.

“The way it works is pretty simple: plug in my transmitter into the iPhone 4 and play back any video clip. you can play it through the ipod feature or through the camera roll. the transmitter instantly sends the video signal to the video repeater and the video repeater overrides any video screen that it’s being held next to. it doesn’t matter what shape or size the hacked screen is because the hack video will simply keep its correct dimensions and the rest of the hacked space will stay black. i chose times square for my demo because it has lots of video screens to try it on. it is also one of the most monitored and secured areas in new york city and that made it that much more fun . you can see in my video that the repeater is pretty powerful but the signal is not very stable yet. i’m working on that. i will post a new video later this week explaining how i made this prototype.”-BITcrash44

On the last Friday of every month, hundreds of bike riding enthusiasts take to the streets for Critical Mass in Porto Alegre, Brazil to raise awareness of cycling in a city dominated by motor vehicles — but at their most recent event, the unthinkable happened. As the lively group of cyclists pedaled together down the street, one disgruntled motorist decided to accelerate through the crowd, running down dozens of riders in a disturbing hit-and-run.Miraculously, considering the speed with which the car plowed into the riders, no one was killed, but over a dozen had to be treated for their injuries. According to Brazilian media, the driver fled the scene and abandoned his car. -TH

“This is one of the hazards of the business but we didn’t expect what we encountered here today,” said reporter John Lobertini.

Early this morning, a man who friends identify as 27-year-old Chester Jackson was shot and killed in a parking lot outside an IHOP in the 2900 block of Advantage Way. Sacramento Police say it started as a fight inside the restaurant.

Friends and family gathered at the scene Sunday and set up a memorial with candles and balloons.

When FOX40 reporter John Lobertini and photojournalist Rebecca Little approached around 4 p.m. to see if anyone wanted to talk about what happened, they were attacked.

Several people pulled Little to the ground by her hair and kicked her in the face. “When I fell on the ground I was protecting myself, and then she kicked me and I was still kinda paralyzed, and I hear my reporter John say, ‘get up, get up,’” said Little.

Lobertini was also attacked. “I was punched on the side of my face,” said Lobertini, “but it was a situation where I was trying to fight off 6 or 7 or 8 people, I can’t even count them.”

Dealer: TSS

A British tourist died suddenly after receiving silicone injections in her butt at a Philadelphia motel, WCAU-TV reported.

The 20-year old complained of chest pain shortly after she was injected with the implants and died soon after in a Hampton Inn.A preliminary medical examination revealed that the silicone went into her central vascular system, ultimately stopping her heart.

Suspicions of these hotel-room medical procedures came about after a woman visiting from England allegedly died after a butt enhancement procedure and was taken to a local hospital, according to court documents.Several women from England recently traveled to Philadelphia to receive butt-implant procedures in hotel rooms, court documents say.

Heck’s Thoughts: Nicki Minaj is to blame for this.*shrugs*